Yes, there’s a lot that’s been written on these pages about the diehard habits of a man that can really irritate a woman. So this time we decided to ask men what it was about their girlfriends that spooked them. While it’s easy to get a woman to rattle off her pet peeves, it wasn’t easy to get a man to think about the pros and cons of his relationship. They hemmed and hawed, but finally came out with some rather interesting views. Names have, however, been changed to protect their identities.
crying-girlfriend_430
ANUBHAV Sarin, media professional, had barely begun dating Preeti when she started becoming quite an imposing presence in his life. “We were just friendly colleagues and had just gone out a few times to a cafe and a bar.
But she decided we were in a relationship or else, perhaps, she was in a hurry to take it to that level. Before I knew and behind my back, she had been dropping by at my home and getting really friendly with my siblings, even my domestic staff. She knew all of them by their pet names and after that within months, she had started working quite hard on the extended family — my aunts and cousins had begun liking her,” says Sarin, nearly breaking into a sweat at the thought.
There wasn’t really much he could do to stop her. “I obviously couldn’t have told her not to get so close to my relatives. I hadn’t even introduced her to them in the first place… it was she who had all along found some pretext to visit them,” he said.
And that’s why Sarin couldn’t help obsessing about what she knew about him.
“What kind of intimate details about me had she extracted out, I kept wondering. My family might have innocently talked a lot about me. That’s when I decided I had to end my friendship immediately,” Sarin said. He did that by avoiding her, he also got herself another girlfriend.
POSSESSIVELY YOURS
“WHERE were you? Why haven’t you been taking my calls? I can hear a woman’s voice in the background… Who’s with you now?”
Ranjit Roy, marketing executive, was receiving a call from his girlfriend for the nth time in the day and these were the standard questions that would start off each of her conversation with him.
“These were the questions I had to deal with every time the phone rang and my ex-girlfriend came on the line. Sometimes it could just be the FM channel in my car, but she would start to get hysterical even about the female voice on the radio. And in my job, I do have to meet a whole lot of people. Having someone who is so possessive just won’t do,” says Roy.
Fortunately, for Roy, the two had just started seeing each other and it didn’t take Roy long to realise that this relationship wouldn’t get them anywhere. “But it wasn’t easy — if she was high- strung throughout the relationship, she was hysterical when we broke up. And all this in just a few months — imagine what would have happened if I’d let the relationship drag for longer,” recalls Roy.
UNSEXY TEARS
REMEMBER the iconic line: “Pushpa, I hate tears”, mouthed by Rajesh Khanna in the movie, Amar Prem. Well, most men admitted to feeling totally at a loss when having to handle a woman’s tears and we all know that when nothing else works that’s often the last resort for many a woman. Well, there’s new research suggesting that when people cry, they may be doing more than expressing emotion.
For instance, they may be sending chemical signals that influence the behaviour of other people.
And there’s at least one signal that directly influences a man- woman relationship.
In several experiments, reported in the journal Science , researchers found that men who sniffed drops of women’s emotional tears became less sexually aroused than when they sniffed a neutral saline solution that had been dribbled down women’s cheeks. While the studies were not large, the findings showed up in a variety of ways, including testosterone levels, skin responses, brain imaging and the men’s descriptions of their arousal.
Rakesh Sharma, BPO professional, was at his wits end when his newly- wed wife would end in a pool of tears at the slightest hint of discord.
“I’ve learnt to be very careful because I just can’t handle it. So I just avoid talking about anything unpleasant — but, yes, that does mean that often I avoid calling a spade a spade,” he says. This can be very limiting in a relationship and Sharma intends to sit his wife down some day and have a good talk with her. But, he feels, he needs to give his marriage a little more time before he does that. Certainly, if it happens too often, it might mean that your partner needs help. And if she’s in the habit of shedding those gallons to take advantage of the situation, a chat with her might help.
ALL YOUR SECRETS
IN THE first flush of love, many a man is wont to give his girlfriend much more than he would at any other time. All it takes is a little persuasion and he’s out with the password of his email accounts, Facebook and other social networking sites. And then, before you know, there’s quite a bit of activity happening on these accounts.
For instance, you no more find unread emails in your inbox, 24- year- old Ankit Joshi recounts. And some of your mail from friends may even receive replies you didn’t send.
Well, the best thing to do is to change passwords but not before you confront her. Keeping quiet about it just to avoid unpleasantness won’t help.
TAKING CONTROL
When Ashish Vora, tech executive, got into a relationship on the rebound after having broken off from his girlfriend of many years, he found himself being overtly dependent on her.
Soon she had taken over his life. “ I could see that I was allowing it to happen — within a few weeks, she had practically moved in,” says Vora. Result: He was as quickly out of it as he had got into it. And this time, he’s sworn he’ll be more careful.
What if your girlfriend/ boyfriend pops up unexpectedly when you are hanging out with your friends?
No comments:
Post a Comment